LIFE IS OUR TEST
Do you ever wonder why we seem to be constantly presented with what feels like tests and challenges? I think Dear Reader, that you know what I mean. Those days when something seems to trigger reactions that we thought we no longer were participating in. Or the ones that really blow up in our faces! Life is our test!
This morning was like that for me. Feeling tested. You know the expression, my buttons got pushed? Well, I was amazed at how easily my darn buttons got pushed. I was completely exasperated. And wondered why those buttons even still existed. Then it dawned on me.
Ahh, yes! It was not really a test. It was life presenting to me something that I had still not found my specific focus and clarity to letting it go. That sounds kind of murky. But in reality isn’t that how it always happens?
Something catches our attention, as if to ensure we are going to pay attention. This is not a multiple choice option. We are going to have to listen or be aware. Whether it is a change in our mood, or my experience of having my buttons being pushed.
That is the first step. Then there is the annoyance of the experience. And that is the part we do have a bit of a choice with. After all, I can get the Oscar nomination for best drama queen or I can just surrender to whatever is needing to be heard. Ahh, the choice.
Sometimes, I have to admit, I want to just go the drama queen route, you know what I mean?
This day though, I just was surrounded by seeming obstacles of emotional entanglement. Yup, you know that feeling!
And I was so surprised. Because I am pretty even keeled. And as a grandmother,unfortunately, I don’t have the hormonal excuse anymore. So I really had to check this out. Even though it was not on my to do list.
And what I was pushed to see, is that it was another example of an onion skin shedding. It was about my going deeper to let go of a buried layer of past hurt. Now I am a big proponent of not holding on to stories. Yet here I was up to my neck in yesterday’s pain. What is going on here?
Why does this happen in our lives? I am suspecting it is about making sure we know there is a path to true letting go.
And that brings me to internal clarity.
SEEING OUR INTERNAL CLARITY
What does that mean? Internal clarity, she asks as she uncomfortably wiggles around her emotional baggage.
I heard this voice deep inside answer, truly, I did. And it showed me a map. A map? Are we going somewhere?
Nope, it is the map of internal clarity. The choice of knowing there is nothing more we need to navigate through. We just have to take that walk. Even if I don’t want to? Yup, especially then.
So what do I need to do about this map?
Be willing to love it. Seriously? I cannot just send it down the trash chute?
TEST OR GIFTS
This is where the tricky part comes in. If we are willing to let it be loved, we are most of the way to letting it truly dissipate from our lives. Ah, that sounds like something I can live with. As many teachers talk about, when we are willing to see our stories, that does not mean we are still living them. It just means that they are showing us something to look at.
And the looking at is not about taking it on. It is literally about seeing, loving it, deciding that we no longer need it. And then wishing it, Bon Voyage.
Seeing it as either a test or a gift is the way we determine our state of being at that moment. For instance, I went down a rabbit hole for a minute. And I could not just turn around and climb back out. It was such a surprise.
But I realized that in one of my recent meditations I had asked to cull through anything that no longer served me. And sure enough, the Universe deemed it time for me to put on my culling gloves. And here was the option, what do I do with it?
It was actually feeling like a test. But after wrestling with it for a bit, I was able to see it for the gift it was. And no longer feel the intensity of the past pain.
Realizing I could now see the old story, with a very different slant. I no longer needed it to define or victimize myself. Wow, that was truly freeing.
In the workbook , The Voice of Knowledge; A Practical Guide to Inner Peace,by Don Miguel Ruiz and Janet Mills, they remind us to let go of all that is not true about ourselves. It is a remarkable book, Click here to pick up a copy from Amazon.
And an lesson in objectively seeing something old, in a way that no longer impacted my heart. I could just thank it for showing up.
It pointed me in the direction of navigating and finding my true inner voice. And how do we know it is our true inner voice?
FINDING OUR VOICE VS USING OUR VOICE
Our true inner voice is beautiful. It is the voice of our heart. It is soft. It is the guide we are looking for. The home we yearn for. And when we hear it and start listening to it, our lives flow in ease.
There is indeed a huge difference between finding our voice and using it. Or most importantly, misusing it. This sweet voice is not the bandleader in the sense of showing out and being center stage.
Instead it is the quiet guide that leads us to ourselves. It does not always have to communicate in words. Many times it just shows us the way. Finding our voice, is truly surrendering to the beauty of our own inner wisdom.
Have you had the experience of meditating and feeling that incredible calm settle into your body? That is the feeling of our inner voice. It is calming and expansive. And very loving.
Life is our test. But not in the way we think. There is not a grade or a demotion. It is merely the ability of listening to what is happening deep within our true self. It is the road map of gorgeous heart opening living.
So although we think we are being tested at every turn, it is only when we decide to name it, or claim it, that we run into road blocks. There is after all, nothing that we need to truly hold on to.
But there are basic stepping stones to living in our own peace. The most important to me, living in loving compassion. And that is not just to others, that is most importantly what we need for our own hearts. That means we take the vow to ourselves that this test is just whether or not we are willing to step into our own love.
Thank you for being here. I do want to hear how you are learning to listen and to let go.
So are we learning to truly let go ? Would love to hear what you think works for you in listening to your inner voice.
In peace and gratitude,